ASK TOSYN: HOW DO I STOP BEING JEALOUS?

Hi Tosyn,

Please help me. I always get jealous of my friend. We work in the same office but she seems to do her work better or something. Her salary and post gets reviewed upwards all the time while mine doesn’t. And to make it worse, she is actually a genuinely nice person.

Please help me Tosyn, I really do not want to keep carrying this jealousy around.

K

Hi K,

First off, let me say how brave of you to do what so many people can’t- admit you are jealous of a friend.

I wonder how many of us are actually a little bit sad or envious when our friends get a new car, new job, and so on. But only a few truly admit that to themselves. It couldn’t have been easy so here is the good news, you are one step to getting better; you already admit there IS a problem.

Jealousy is usually a sign that there is something we are unhappy about, usually with ourselves, and when we see these traits or achievements in others, it gnaws at us if we are not careful.

You mentioned your friend does her work very well. Is this an indication that you feel you are not doing enough at work? Also, when you say your friend is pleasant and so on. Are these traits you yourself wish you had?

This is a great opportunity for you to be introspective and find these elements that you are either dissatisfied with or can handle differently. So instead of seeing your friend as a threat, see her as a silent mentor of sorts.

You also need to practise cheering other people on. Be your friend’s cheerleader. You will find yourself resisting at first and you might even find your first few attempts at praise feeling false. But be persistent. Soon, when you say ‘congratulations’ you will genuinely mean it. And I recommend prayer. Praying for people helps you feel at peace about them in your life. Do not feel ashamed about it; instead make it a point to pray for your friend to succeed and keep excelling. Funny thing is, the more she does, the more you will. As one person put it, ‘a rising tide floats all boats’.

Remember, jealousy might be a negative emotion, but it can be turned positive. I pray this helps.

Hi Tosyn, I am a bachelor o and most times all I can make is noodles. Got any interesting recipes for me?

Kayode.

Hey Kayode,

First, let me look over my shoulder to ensure there isn’t some other chef goddess named tosyn that you could possibly be referring to.

Me? For real.

Erm, okay!

Luckily, I enjoy noodles as well, and know loads of people who do too! So here are some things people have cooked their noodles with!

Enjoy. Literally

- Put some stew in your noodles when it is on the fire. Tastes better

- Spice your noodles up with curry powder, pepper and so on

- Garnish with things like carrots, tomatoes, raw onions and bananas (I didn’t try that last one o)

- Instead of boiled eggs, try breaking the egg into the noodles while still on the fire. Fried noodles anyone?

- Add some geisha or sardines

- Put your noodles, uncooked, in a bowl, put some water, and microwave.

- Noodles and suya

- Put some cheese in your noodles.

- Eat your noodles with sausages

- Put some okro in your noodles (okay, I admit, I have put okro on rice. But noodles???)

This makes me wonder though, what are some of your favourite ways of making YOUR noodles?